Client: New laptop – Needs the Product Key to activate Microsoft Office.
Tech: When you are prompted to activate MS Outlook, please use this product key and let us know if it doesn’t work.
XXXXX-XXXXX-XXXXX-XXXXX-XXXXX
Client: I’ve never been asked for a product key. It’s actually asking to “change the product key.”
Tech: That’s the computer asking you for the product key…
Payroll processor: We cannot accept your direct deposit information in an email for compliance reasons.
Me: So what do we need?
Payroll processor: You need to send us a report from your accounting program that includes the info.
Me: There is no such report. Can I send you a screenshot of the information?
Payroll processor: If the employees’ names are on the screenshot, that might work.
Me: <Thinks about a) how easy it is to generate a screenshot and b) what stupid regulation we could possibly be complying with by sending payroll info “in a screenshot” but “not in an email.”>
Client: I need administrative rights to install software.
Operator: A tech is not presently available, but I will have them call you back.
<Time passes…>
Client: You can install the software today at noon.
Tech: I will remotely connect to the system at that time. Thanks!
<Client takes installation disc out of computer and puts it on the shelf to keep it safe. Disc drive is used for nothing besides installing this stupid software.>
Tech: So… where’s this disc I’m supposed to install the program from?
A user received an email, allegedly from the Federal Treasury. Despite attending security awareness training, whereby she was instructed to never open attachments that were not expected, the user
infecting her PC with the Phoenix Exploit Kit.
The user works at a bank where she’s in charge of things like ACH transfers. Stupid.