What’s a Modem?

Me: Hi Sales Guy. I need an HP 4000P desktop PC (LA070UT) with an internal modem.

Sales Guy: Hey Me. In stock, in NJ. Not sure what you mean by an internal modem. Please clarify.

Sales Guy

Seriously? You work as a salesman of computer hardware and you don’t know what an internal modem is? I mean, sure, maybe you’ve lived on cable, DSL, or fiber for the entirety of your Internet life, but you’ve never heard of a modem?

Stupid Dishwasher Repair

Dear Customer, please wait while we connect you to a Blue Crew member to assist you.

You have been connected to Maria Larson.

Maria Larson: Thank you for choosing Sears. My name is Maria. How may I assist you?
Me: Hello.
Me: I have a Kenmore dishwasher.
Me: The “Clean” light is repeatedly flashing.
Me: According to the manual, this means that the heating element inside needs to be replaced.
Maria Larson: Hello Me.
Me: I called the automated system at
Me: 18004myhome
Me: but the only option it gives is to send a technician to my house to diagnose the problem.
Maria Larson: To best of my knowledge, there are various reasons why the appliance might not function appropriately.
Maria Larson: I would recommend you to have our skilled technicians take a look and determine the repair.
Maria Larson: This will not only ensure your safety while using the appliance but will also prolong the life of the appliance.
Me: The manual says that if the Clean light flashes, it is the heating element. Do I understand correctly that this may not be the case?
Maria Larson: Me, I am sorry, I do not have this information.
Maria Larson: In order to make sure that the problem is fixed appropriately and prolong the life of the appliance, I recommend you get a certified technician from Sears.
Me: So it seems that my only option is to have a technician make two trips – one to diagnose the problem, and then another to fix it.
Maria Larson: Our technician are experience and certified and they will be able to fix your dishwasher.
Maria Larson: Do you wish to go ahead and schedule the repair service appointment?
Me: Is the charge by visit or by the hour?
Maria Larson: To help you with the cost, may I have zip code and age of your dishwasher please?
Me: 12345 is the zip code. I believe the age is 6 years, but am not certain.
Maria Larson: Thank you.
Maria Larson: Let me provide you the payment details.
Maria Larson: We offer Flat Rate $129 and it includes diagnosing the issue/problem with the appliance. All labor needed to repair your “Appliance”, no matter how long it takes (or) performed by a certified Sears Technician.
Maria Larson: 90 days warranty on the repair.
Maria Larson: If additional parts are needed, that would be the only cost not covered.
Maria Larson: If you decline the estimate you will be responsible for the $129.00 charge.
Me: Interesting. When I called 1-800-4-My-Home, they said the flat rate charge was $75, not $129.
Maria Larson: Sounds good?
Me: Not as good as the price on the phone. I guess I will call them back. 
Me: Thank you.
Maria Larson: Sure. I am happy to help, is there anything else I can assist you with?
Maria Larson: I will remain available for another moment if you need further assistance.
Maria Larson: We are ending this chat since we have not heard from you. If you need any assistance please contact us via Live Chat. We will be glad to help you. Thank you for choosing Sears Chat. Have a pleasant day.
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