I can haz stupid?!

Stupid Senior Legal Assistant:

Stupidlast, Stupidfirst (Stupid v. Stupid) 123456/1234 E-FILE; Depositions Scheduled for 6/4 & 6/5

Stupidfirst Stupidlast
Email: [email protected]

           Re:               Stupid v. stupid et al
           Case No.:         123456/1234
           Date of Loss:     December 10, 2022
           Our File No.:     00-11223344

Dear Clients:

Please be advised that the virtual deposition of Stupid Stupid has been scheduled for June 4, 2026, and the virtual deposition of Stupid Stupid has been scheduled for June 5, 2026.

TIME: TO BE DETERMINED
LOCATION: VIRTUAL

Please note that a deposition is a court-mandated procedure during which all attorneys in the lawsuit are allowed to ask you questions and receive your answers under oath. A court reporter will be present to record the questions and answers, which will be typed into a booklet. Your deposition testimony may be used later at trial or other judicial proceedings. An attorney from this office will be present with you during the entire deposition.

Although a deposition is an informal proceeding, it has important consequences for the outcome of the case. So that you will be fully prepared for the deposition process, An attorney from our office would like to meet with you before the deposition to discuss what you can expect and the nature of your testimony. Please call my office to schedule this meeting.

As these Examinations are sometimes adjourned (postponed), and we ask that you call this office and speak with Stupid Attorney at 111-222-3333 by 12:00 noon the business day before the Examination Before Trial in order to confirm your appearance. Please do not appear for this Examination without first having confirmed that it is being held as scheduled.

Your rights and defenses in this lawsuit will be jeopardized if you fail to appear at the Examination.

Sincerely,

Stupid Stupid
Senior Legal Assistant
Staff Counsel for Stupid Insurance
Direct Dial Number: 111-222-3333
Email: [email protected]
Learn about our legal department: https://stupidinsurance.example.com

Mailing Address: PO Box XXXXXX
Stupid City, ST 11111-2222

PLEASE NOTE*The information contained in this communication and any attachments is confidential and may be subject to the attorney-client, work-product, or other privileges. It is intended for the sole and exclusive use of the addressee(s). If you are not the intended recipient and have received this in error, please delete or destroy this message and notify the sender immediately.

Confidential

Proprietary

PLEASE NOTE This E-Mail/telefax message and any documents accompanying this transmission may contain privileged and/or confidential information and is intended solely for the addressee(s) named above. If you are not the intended addressee/recipient, you are hereby notified that any use of, disclosure, copying, distribution, or reliance on the contents of this E-Mail/telefax information is strictly prohibited and may result in legal action against you. Please reply to the sender advising of the error in transmission and immediately delete/destroy the message and any accompanying documents. Thank you.*

---

Notstupid: “You have the wrong email.”

Stupid Senior Legal Assistant: “Hi Notstupid – These are the only two emails we have.”

Notstupid: “I am not your client, and this is MY email address.”

Stupid Senior Legal Assistant: “…” <Visualizing a slackjawed silent response, possibly with drool.>

[1:51 PM] Not Stupid
CHNG123456 – looking for an email
Hi team,

Regarding recently closed case CHNG123456, I am expecting an email sent earlier today from [email protected]. I have not seen a ticket yet and I am wondering if there is a way to look for it either in SNow or further up the chain in case it was caught in an email filter somewhere.

Thanks,

Not

[1:54 PM] Joe Shmoe
Hi Not. I only see 2 emails that have come in from that Alert User email [email protected] in our system. They both have the subject “Welcome to EXAMPLE”. These don’t seem like alert/incident related emails.

[1:55 PM] Joe Shmoe
Screenshot 2024-08-09 at 1.54.56 PM.png

Either they are not coming in using the [email protected] or we are not recieving them on the SN side.

[1:55 PM] Not Stupid
That’s what I am looking for. I need to follow the instructions in those welcome emails to complete onboarding.

[1:57 PM] Joe Shmoe
Ok, I think we have specs mixed up here. Our email alerting rules create INC’s to handle alerting issues with external systems. You are looking to use them for reminders to complete Onboarding steps?

[1:59 PM] Not Stupid
I just need this one email to do the onboarding. Everything else should make incidents.

[2:00 PM] Joe Shmoe
Ok, but we have to setup separate rules based on the Subject, Alert User, Email body specific items that come in. There is no such “Catch all” that just creates whatever you need based on the type of email.
We already setup a rule for this alert user ([email protected]) to catch incident alerting issues.

[2:01 PM] Not Stupid
Is it possible to get the contents of those emails you saw? This is a one-time thing. Everything else will be incidents.

[2:01 PM] Joe Shmoe
What do you want it to do with these emails? This process we have is specific to alerting and creating incidents. If you just need visibility of these emails, that is a different ask completely.

[2:03 PM] Not Stupid
I likely need to click a link that was in those emails to set up the account associated with the [email protected] address. But until I see the email, I don’t know exactly what I need to do.

[2:05 PM] Joe Shmoe
I don’t know how COMPANY is setup, but isn’t a way for them to add you as a CC to the process on their side so you get the emails in your inbox. Doesn’t seem like our SN needs to be used for this at all, unless I’m looking at this incorrectly.

[2:05 PM] Not Stupid
No, not for an initial onboarding email.

[2:06 PM] Not Stupid
In order for them to send emails/alerts to [email protected], that address needs to be onboarded into their system. They do this by sending it an email to confirm. This is usually done by clicking a link in the email, whereupon the user is prompted to create a password. That is what I am trying to do. This is a one-time thing.

[2:16 PM] Joe Shmoe
There are options to leverage this I guess, but I will need to talk this over with the Team on Monday. I can’t make configuration/process decisions as the admin.

[2:19 PM] Not Stupid
Is there anyone who can retrieve those emails you said you saw in this one instance?

[2:19 PM] Joe Shmoe
Yes, what do you need from them? I can get the information out of them.

[2:19 PM] Not Stupid
As I said above, whatever the email tells me to do, I need to do it. So if there’s a link or other instructions, I need to know what they are so I can do them.

Somewhere in cyberspace, on a Wednesday afternoon:

Client: We have a PCI audit and need a clean vulnerability scan of our PCI Internal environment.
Me: When?
Client: Monday
Me: …

Me: Client’s DevOps Team – can we do something about these recurring Medium and High vulnerabilities from the daily vulnerability scans?

Client’s DevOps Team: We have stopped scanning the target systems.

User: “I got a warning about a data breach and they mentioned GOOGLE, so I deleted my Gmail password. I need you to reset it.”

Me: …

Me: I will reset your Gmail password.

Manager: It’s a tight window blah blah blah we need to make sure this happens within the window.
Me: Since you are supposed to have the hardware by noon, how about we schedule a call for 1PM?
Manager: Yeah that makes sense. Who should I invite?
Me: Please invite Invitee.
Manager: Sent.
Invitee: I haven’t got it
Manager: Oh I invited everyone except you, Invitee.

CSR
You have been transferred to the Customer Support Team. My name is CSR. Please allow me a few moments to review your information before we get started.
10:25:17 AM
Hello Me, my name is CSR. You have reached the Connect Student Chat Support line. Your case number for this interaction is 18874666. How may I help you today?
10:25:37 AM
Me
Hi! I’m trying to access the full text of the book on my account. When I click into the link given by my instructor from our Canvas system, I get a screen that only tells me no assignments are due, but I see no option to view the actual text of the book.
10:26:19 AM
CSR
I can definitely assist you in regards with your concern. But before that, may I please have your best call back number in case we got disconnected and your school’s name?
10:26:23 AM
Me
Some College
10:26:43 AM
XXXXXXXXXX
10:26:49 AM
CSR
Awesome! May I also have the name of the course and section of the class please?
10:27:15 AM
Me
Course Number – Course Name – Fall 2020 (2020F7B)
10:27:35 AM
CSR
Perfect! And the instructor for that class?
10:28:03 AM
Me
Instructor Name
10:28:58 AM
CSR
Awesome! Hang on for a minute, just gonna take a look on that.
10:29:20 AM
Do you happen to have the email address of your instructor?
10:30:18 AM
Me
I do not
10:30:49 AM
CSR
I see. Just to verify did you already registered to the class?
10:31:49 AM
Me
Yes. I am logged in to the course via Canvas now. I am able to access the narrated lectures via the Connect link I was given, but not the full text.
10:32:12 AM
CSR
So, to confirm, you can now access the eBook?
10:32:27 AM
Me
No…
10:33:37 AM
that is why I am chatting with you.

Me: Hi 1, 2, and 3.

I’d like to convert On-Call from going to That Ticketing System to an IMAP account so that we can use This Ticketing System. I know one of you can make this happen for us.

Thanks,

Me

1: Wait, why do you want to make this change? What’s wrong with That Ticketing System?

Me: That Ticketing System does not meet our needs. This Ticketing System does.

2: It seems like we missed an opportunity to have a discussion around enterprise standard applications.

3:

Me: I’m happy to have a discussion and answer any questions. What questions do you have?

1: I’ve disconnected On-Call from That Ticketing System. It will no longer generate tickets.

Me: That’s great. Can 2 or 3 please give us IMAP access to the account now? Again, happy to discuss questions, but last I checked, we have no “enterprise standard” preventing us from using This Ticketing System.

<a day passes>

Me: 2, 3, So, we still have no access to On-Call. I know people are emailing it and we cannot respond.

<a day passes>

Me: Hi 2, 3, 2’s Manager, 3’s Manager, Me’s Manager,

We still have no access to On-Call. See this long email thread below.

2’s Manager: Is there a ticket for this?

3: I’ll make a ticket!

Me: Here’s all the details of the request, 2’s Manager.

<a day passes>

Me: All, we still have no access as of this morning.

3: I enabled access last week, and told 2’s Manager!

Me: … Great, we can access it in Email Client, but we still have no IMAP access to the mailbox so cannot use This Ticketing System…

H, Yesterday 3:53 PM
Hey Me. Do I need to be connected to VPN to access Share files?

Me, Yesterday 3:53 PM
Yes

H, Yesterday 3:54 PM
because it is not showing me the files

Me, Yesterday 3:54 PM
You do have to be connected to the VPN to access the S drive AKA shared files.

H, Yesterday 3:54 PM
It’s not letting me see them.
should I try connecting to VPN? or would you like to see the error?
saying network error

Me, Yesterday 3:57 PM
Hi H, you DO need to be connected to the VPN in order to access the S drive AKA shared files.
So you’ll need to connect to the VPN.
Then you should be able to see the files on the S drive.

H, Yesterday 3:58 PM
I’m confused. You just mentioned that I didn’t didn’t to be connected.
Okay, I will connect to VPN

Me, Yesterday 3:59 PM
You DO need to be connected to the VPN in order to see the S drive.

H, Yesterday 3:59 PM
ok
thanks,